Stronger

“Stronger.”

     This is the moment when I have nowhere else to run. When I am searching but only find myself in His love in the end. Like there is no other place there is… No other place I could ever be. This is the moment I stop wondering why am I here… and how did I get here…  This is the moment when I realize, God’s love is everything…

     February 8, 2013, God brought me to a new place, a place where I am a complete stranger. I thought it was cool and exciting. No one from outside knows who you are.( I guess they don’t even know my nationality.hehehe.) But as days and weeks passed by, I began to feel isolated. Feeling like I do not belong here and feeling lonely and sad thinking about the things I left behind in Philippines. Some things just went wrong and then my struggle begins…

     I kept asking God, “why am I here?” and “why all of these are happening?” “What did I do to deserve this?” I know He has a purpose. I know His plans are better than mine. I know His will is pleasing and perfect. I just don’t know the answer of my questions. And so I kept on complaining and questioning God. I am totally lost and I forgot to submit to Him. I forgot that He is faithful, and He is in the business of dealing with my heart. That’s it! I remember one day. God is dealing with my heart. At times, God just keep silent. But I did not stop praying for answers until that one day came…

     March 24, 2013, God finally revealed to me why.

In your life, God gave you gifts. The people around you, the skills you can use, your studies, your work, and even material things like cellphones or books. But when all of these things are gone, the only one that’s left is yourself. What’s inside you is your heart; one that controls everything in you.  And your heart belongs to God. So if you think you can just fix your heart yourself, and trying hard to be a better person striving to be pure, you’re up to something useless.

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" -Jeremiah17:9

You can’t fix your heart, because you’re not in control of it. You can never understand it. (You can’t even see or judge if it’s working properly or not. :D) He needs to shake you until the only things left within you are the unshakable things. God knows your heart. He should be in control of it. In fact, He should be in control of everything in your life. I know this and I realized this earlier before I was brought here in this place. These were the cries of my heart that time;

“Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.” –Psalm51:10 (NLT)

“Put me on trial Lord, and cross-examine me. Test my motives and my heart.” –Psalm26:2 (NLT)     

   Yes, I prayed for this and God heard me. He hears me all the time, I’m sure of that. ;) Now that I understand everything, I learned how to submit to His will again. And then things began to fall to their right places. It changed something in me and I know for sure, I will never be the same, that I have become stronger.

   Being strong is not just seen by what the color of your belt is, or defeating someone in a fight. Lifting heavy weights and having those muscles in your arms. It is also knowing in your heart that God’s love is everything. When anything else in your life fails, as long as you keep that love alive in your heart, everything will be just fine. Because you know He loves you and He’s in control. You know that He will never leave you nor forsake you. You know that His plans are for the best, and He will do anything to make you the person He wants you to be.  

   If you are on a situation in your life that you feel so alone and you have no one to talk to. Like you have nowhere else to run to, the good news is, God is at work in your life and He wants you to know and realize that He is always there even if others are not. His love is something that lasts forever even if other things fade in just a glimpse. So now you know you still got one place to run to; God’s presence.

“My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever.” –Psalm73:26  

Life is like travelling to different places. God will bring you to different seasons where things will never be the same. So take heart, He has greater things in stored for you.

Jessa Kris G. Rosales

Obedience

"OBEDIENCE"

   I thought obedience is just about following rules and regulations at school, following what your parents tell you or do everything what your teacher tells you in class. I could say I was really good at obeying those kind of things when I was still in high school or grade school. That's why I thought I knew everything about the word OBEDIENCE.

   But as I started to follow Christ and started to know Him more, I found out that Obedience has a lot to say aside from obeying God's '10 commandments' in the bible. Being a Christian at age 16, all i know about obedience to God is obeying the said commandments. But as I grow in my walk with God, He taught me about it. I found out that OBEDIENCE is also letting God decide for you, in everything that you do and in every situation that you encounter.

   October 2012, God brought me to a season of learning how to obey Him and trust His plans. October 7, 2012, Sunday, I was in Church for an 11 o'clock service. Before it started, a leader in Worship Ministry talked to me and asked me about my schedules, and then he ended up asking me if my heart is ready to worship lead. The first word that came out from my mouth is... "I... I don't know.." and then we ended up the conversation because the service is going to start. During the service, the Church got this visitor from Hillsong United to sing a song and the song was 'Heart of Worship'. I guess everybody knows this song. As I was watching him sing, there's really something in him that struck me, everyone calls it 'anointing'. When he sing, you could really see through his heart that he is worshiping God. And suddenly i felt something inside me, the feeling of longing and desiring to worship God that much. To really stand on your feet and have that kind of heart to worship Him. I said to myself, "I want to extremely grow in worship just like this person." Then I realized what the leader asked me about before the service started.

   After the service, I decided to talk to Ate Glou about my burden. Then I said to her, "I always wanted to worship God and I have that desire to lead but I don't think I'm ready. I don't think I've grown mature enough to do that. I'm not sure if I'm equipped, that maybe if I try, I might just fail to give God what He deserves." So she told me to seek God's will for it.

   Before I slept, on the same day, I prayed and in an instant, God answered me with these verses in my quiet time;

"He calls people, but not according to their good or bad works" (Romans9:12)

"I will show mercy to anyone I choose, and I will show compassion to anyone I choose." (Romans9:15)

"I have appointed you for the very purpose of displaying my power in you and to spread my fame throughout the earth." (Romans9:17)

   I was speechless, and seriously, I was shaking. On the back of my mind, I keep on asking God, "are you serious?" hehe. Then I texted Ate Glou about the verses then she told me to obey God. Honestly, I was really scared but as what Ate Glou said, "Be more scared of disobeying God." haha. Then I made a decision that night, I will say Yes if they'll ask me to lead.

But it didn't stop there. God really has a great sense of humor. I can't stop laughing every time I remember what happened next. Someone texted me the next day;

Ate Pat: "Jes? can you worship lead this Sunday?"

Me: "Lead??" or back-up?"

Ate Pat: "Lead. There's no other available person that could lead this Sunday."

   Well, look how God left me with no choice. All of a sudden, just 19 hours after I made the decision to obey Him, a test was given.

I found myself shaking with mixed emotions and feeling that not any word could describe.  I was happy, nervous, I wanna laugh and just cry. Not to mention I was in a public place that time (inside the shuttle).

Then I said Yes, yes, I said YES! :D

Then here comes Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. *POOFFF! days are really fast. My heart beats faster and faster. But how it ended up? I really don't know. But I know the feeling was awesome! :D I can't believe what I have just experienced. I could say God is FAITHFUL to all He has promised.

"The ONE who calls you is faithful, and HE WILL DO IT." (1Thessalonians5:24)

   November 2, 2012, I have made the decision to obey God more than what my ego tells me. My family asked me to stop studying for the second semester. My family needs to recover from huge expenses and from a sudden problem that concerns about the health of my mother. My sister needs to go back to Jordan to work and she asked me to take her place for the mean time. I was confused and I don't want to stop studying because I'm scared about the outcome, and I don't want to waste my time, I want to finish my course ASAP. But I was reminded of what God has taught me about obedience and His faithfulness. God says, "Honor your Parents" and I don't want to go the other way. I chose to honor my family and I chose to be a blessing to them for this time. I stopped studying and I was left with greater responsibility. Greater than just receiving my allowance for school, greater than just taking good care of myself and thinking about what I would I eat and what I would do. Now, it's holding the whole family's allowance, thinking about what I would do for the good of all. 

   For now I could say, God is calling me to take hold greater responsibilities. He has been telling me that I can't settle on smaller ones because I'm getting older now, I'm almost 19 years old. :) It's time to level up! I could say He has been very faithful. I have never thought of enjoying my season this much. If you obey, God will surely reward you with peace and joy in your heart. Life is good! ALWAYS.. :)

God says I don't have to feel bad, I don't have to give up anything nor sacrifice something. I just have to obey Him and beautiful things will take place. 

TRUST HIM, HE DOES WONDERFUL THINGS. 'more than you could imagine.' 

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined 

what God has prepared for those who love Him." (1Corinthians2:9)

  

  

               

Me@18 Testimony

Me@18 Testimony

Since I was in grade school, I have dreamed of having a debut when I turn 18. You know those dreams which are actually normal for a little girl. A debut with a fairytale theme, and everything around would be enchanted. But I can’t exactly remember how it turned to this very simple idea; that I just want to have this simple celebration, high-lighted with a testimony of how this dream started. I will be honest to you that I almost gave this dream up. There’s no budget for a debut at all, there seems to be no way for it to happen. But God still made a way, because He knows how my heart desired for this and I have been praying for this for years. Simple, He doesn’t want to fail me. He never did. I almost gave up but I didn’t. Though my mind keeps on thinking that this would be so impossible after all that happened, I failed my major subjects, I have wasted my parents’ and my sister’s effort and money, I have failed them. I’m not even sure if this could fit my sister’s budget since she has been spending much money in sending me and my brother in college. I guess we all know this. But still, there’s something in my heart that keeps on telling me to believe what my Great God can do. It reminds me how God would move a mountain for me, for all of us. I just have to have faith in Him, ‘cause it’s not about what I can do and what my family can do anyway. It’s all about what God can. I believe He has the key to control everything in my life. To think, it’s even hard to have this celebration while people are mourning because of what happened last Friday and Saturday. But God’s ways and that something in my heart made me stand here in this very moment. He used His people to bless me. People here in church, and outside the church. Maybe this is just a simple celebration but it’s a different and memorable one. I can’t really imagine where I would be right now without God and I don’t know if this moment would be this special if I gave up and stopped trusting Him. So if you have a dream and you’re heart really desires for it, It would be best to share it to God and plan every detail of it with Him. Seek His will before yours, then nothing would be against it. And of course, it takes faith for something impossible to happen. Believe His heart, a father’s heart.  He has a desire for you to be happy with Him. When we dream, God will surely make it happen if it’s the best for you. And when it happens, it would be more than what you have expected and greater than what you could ever imagine.

Maybe you’re all thinking about me being the center of the celebration. But honestly in my heart, there are people that should be honored today instead of me. First, I would like to honor God for making all these things happened, Second, I wanna honor my parents for taking good care of me for exactly 18 years. I know it’s not easy to raise children. Third, I would also like to honor my sister for working very hard for the whole family and being so patient. Next, I wanna say thank you to my brother. I know I’m kinda kulit but I know you care for me.  Then I would like to say thank you so much to all the pastors for understanding me kay murag way klaro nix a na plan na everytime mag ask mo sa plan, murag wala koy plan, especially to Pastor Janssen, our senior pastor here in Victory cdo , to my churchmates, TEAM Jesus, you’ve helped me a lot. Even in ordinary days that I’m with you. I know I can’t really thank you all enough but I know in my heart, you will always have your special places. Thank you sooo much.. :”>

My 17^th year has been soo great for me. That was the first year since I have surrender myself to God, and it was awesome. Every day was a revelation. I will always remember that In my 17^th year, I have chosen to serve God, I have felt the real freedom and the true happiness, I have been with people who accepted me and loved me, I have found my security, I have overcome my shy-type personality and started talking to people, I have learned to save and earn money for something I want to do, I have gone to Manila and ride on a plane, I have witnessed the young people throughout the country worshiping God and worshiped with them, I have felt the fulfillment that I have never felt before; yung feeling na alam mong andami mong pinagdadaan na problema pero pagkagising mo sa umaga, napapangiti ka parin kasi alam mo andyan si God. Yung feeling na pag nasasaktan ka pag sinabihan ka ng masama, hindi ka naiiyak dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman mo pero dahil sa alam mong mahal na mahal ka parin nya at tanggap ka nya kahit sino kapa.  And my greatest win was, I have built an intimate relationship with God. Now I’m facing another season and another year of my life. I’m happy and I’m excited because I know God would do greater things ahead, and with those things, more testimonies will be made.      

Truly yours po,

Jessa Kris Go Rosales

\(^.^,)/