“Stronger.”
This is the
moment when I have nowhere else to run. When I am searching but only find
myself in His love in the end. Like there is no other place there is… No other
place I could ever be. This is the moment I stop wondering why am I here… and
how did I get here… This is the moment
when I realize, God’s love is everything…
February 8, 2013,
God brought me to a new place, a place where I am a complete stranger. I thought
it was cool and exciting. No one from outside knows who you are.( I guess they
don’t even know my nationality.hehehe.) But as days and weeks passed by, I
began to feel isolated. Feeling like I do not belong here and feeling lonely
and sad thinking about the things I left behind in Philippines. Some things
just went wrong and then my struggle begins…
I kept asking God,
“why am I here?” and “why all of these are happening?” “What did I do to
deserve this?” I know He has a purpose. I know His plans are better than mine.
I know His will is pleasing and perfect. I just don’t know the answer of my
questions. And so I kept on complaining and questioning God. I am totally lost
and I forgot to submit to Him. I forgot that He is faithful, and He is in the
business of dealing with my heart. That’s it! I remember one day. God is
dealing with my heart. At times, God just keep silent. But I did not stop
praying for answers until that one day came…
March 24, 2013, God
finally revealed to me why.
In your life, God gave you gifts. The people around you, the
skills you can use, your studies, your work, and even material things like
cellphones or books. But when all of these things are gone, the only one that’s
left is yourself. What’s inside you is your heart; one that controls everything
in you. And your heart belongs to God.
So if you think you can just fix your heart yourself, and trying hard to be a
better person striving to be pure, you’re up to something useless.
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" -Jeremiah17:9
You can’t fix your heart, because you’re not in control of it. You can never understand it. (You can’t even see or judge if it’s working properly or not. :D) He needs to shake you until the only things left within you are the unshakable things. God knows your heart. He should be in control of it. In fact, He should be in control of everything in your life. I know this and I realized this earlier before I was brought here in this place. These were the cries of my heart that time;
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" -Jeremiah17:9
You can’t fix your heart, because you’re not in control of it. You can never understand it. (You can’t even see or judge if it’s working properly or not. :D) He needs to shake you until the only things left within you are the unshakable things. God knows your heart. He should be in control of it. In fact, He should be in control of everything in your life. I know this and I realized this earlier before I was brought here in this place. These were the cries of my heart that time;
“Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit
within me.” –Psalm51:10 (NLT)
“Put me on trial Lord, and cross-examine me. Test my
motives and my heart.” –Psalm26:2 (NLT)
Yes, I prayed for
this and God heard me. He hears me all the time, I’m sure of that. ;) Now that
I understand everything, I learned how to submit to His will again. And then
things began to fall to their right places. It changed something in me and I
know for sure, I will never be the same, that I have become stronger.
Being strong is not just seen by what the color
of your belt is, or defeating someone in a fight. Lifting heavy weights and
having those muscles in your arms. It is also knowing in your heart that God’s
love is everything. When anything else in your life fails, as long as you keep
that love alive in your heart, everything will be just fine. Because you know
He loves you and He’s in control. You know that He will never leave you nor
forsake you. You know that His plans are for the best, and He will do anything
to make you the person He wants you to be.
If you are on a situation
in your life that you feel so alone and you have no one to talk to. Like you
have nowhere else to run to, the good news is, God is at work in your life and
He wants you to know and realize that He is always there even if others are
not. His love is something that lasts forever even if other things fade in just
a glimpse. So now you know you still got one place to run to; God’s presence.
“My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God
remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever.” –Psalm73:26
Life is like travelling to different places. God will bring
you to different seasons where things will never be the same. So take heart, He
has greater things in stored for you.
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| Jessa Kris G. Rosales |
