"OBEDIENCE"
I thought obedience is just about following rules and regulations at school, following what your parents tell you or do everything what your teacher tells you in class. I could say I was really good at obeying those kind of things when I was still in high school or grade school. That's why I thought I knew everything about the word OBEDIENCE.
But as I started to follow Christ and started to know Him more, I found out that Obedience has a lot to say aside from obeying God's '10 commandments' in the bible. Being a Christian at age 16, all i know about obedience to God is obeying the said commandments. But as I grow in my walk with God, He taught me about it. I found out that OBEDIENCE is also letting God decide for you, in everything that you do and in every situation that you encounter.
October 2012, God brought me to a season of learning how to obey Him and trust His plans. October 7, 2012, Sunday, I was in Church for an 11 o'clock service. Before it started, a leader in Worship Ministry talked to me and asked me about my schedules, and then he ended up asking me if my heart is ready to worship lead. The first word that came out from my mouth is... "I... I don't know.." and then we ended up the conversation because the service is going to start. During the service, the Church got this visitor from Hillsong United to sing a song and the song was 'Heart of Worship'. I guess everybody knows this song. As I was watching him sing, there's really something in him that struck me, everyone calls it 'anointing'. When he sing, you could really see through his heart that he is worshiping God. And suddenly i felt something inside me, the feeling of longing and desiring to worship God that much. To really stand on your feet and have that kind of heart to worship Him. I said to myself, "I want to extremely grow in worship just like this person." Then I realized what the leader asked me about before the service started.
After the service, I decided to talk to Ate Glou about my burden. Then I said to her, "I always wanted to worship God and I have that desire to lead but I don't think I'm ready. I don't think I've grown mature enough to do that. I'm not sure if I'm equipped, that maybe if I try, I might just fail to give God what He deserves." So she told me to seek God's will for it.
Before I slept, on the same day, I prayed and in an instant, God answered me with these verses in my quiet time;
"He calls people, but not according to their good or bad works" (Romans9:12)
"I will show mercy to anyone I choose, and I will show compassion to anyone I choose." (Romans9:15)
"I have appointed you for the very purpose of displaying my power in you and to spread my fame throughout the earth." (Romans9:17)
I was speechless, and seriously, I was shaking. On the back of my mind, I keep on asking God, "are you serious?" hehe. Then I texted Ate Glou about the verses then she told me to obey God. Honestly, I was really scared but as what Ate Glou said, "Be more scared of disobeying God." haha. Then I made a decision that night, I will say Yes if they'll ask me to lead.
But it didn't stop there. God really has a great sense of humor. I can't stop laughing every time I remember what happened next. Someone texted me the next day;
Ate Pat: "Jes? can you worship lead this Sunday?"
Me: "Lead??" or back-up?"
Ate Pat: "Lead. There's no other available person that could lead this Sunday."
Well, look how God left me with no choice. All of a sudden, just 19 hours after I made the decision to obey Him, a test was given.
I found myself shaking with mixed emotions and feeling that not any word could describe. I was happy, nervous, I wanna laugh and just cry. Not to mention I was in a public place that time (inside the shuttle).
Then I said Yes, yes, I said YES! :D
Then here comes Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. *POOFFF! days are really fast. My heart beats faster and faster. But how it ended up? I really don't know. But I know the feeling was awesome! :D I can't believe what I have just experienced. I could say God is FAITHFUL to all He has promised.
"The ONE who calls you is faithful, and HE WILL DO IT." (1Thessalonians5:24)
November 2, 2012, I have made the decision to obey God more than what my ego tells me. My family asked me to stop studying for the second semester. My family needs to recover from huge expenses and from a sudden problem that concerns about the health of my mother. My sister needs to go back to Jordan to work and she asked me to take her place for the mean time. I was confused and I don't want to stop studying because I'm scared about the outcome, and I don't want to waste my time, I want to finish my course ASAP. But I was reminded of what God has taught me about obedience and His faithfulness. God says, "Honor your Parents" and I don't want to go the other way. I chose to honor my family and I chose to be a blessing to them for this time. I stopped studying and I was left with greater responsibility. Greater than just receiving my allowance for school, greater than just taking good care of myself and thinking about what I would I eat and what I would do. Now, it's holding the whole family's allowance, thinking about what I would do for the good of all.
For now I could say, God is calling me to take hold greater responsibilities. He has been telling me that I can't settle on smaller ones because I'm getting older now, I'm almost 19 years old. :) It's time to level up! I could say He has been very faithful. I have never thought of enjoying my season this much. If you obey, God will surely reward you with peace and joy in your heart. Life is good! ALWAYS.. :)
God says I don't have to feel bad, I don't have to give up anything nor sacrifice something. I just have to obey Him and beautiful things will take place.
TRUST HIM, HE DOES WONDERFUL THINGS. 'more than you could imagine.'
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined
what God has prepared for those who love Him." (1Corinthians2:9)
